2009 Match Reports

WOMBATS GO 3 FROM 3 (31/05/2009)
by Ian Gason
>>>Match Scorecard vs Predators

A petulant kindergarten-esque display of childishness from Japan's softball community was the first of many obstacles the Tokyo Wombats had to overcome before thumping the Tokyo Predators in a satisfying but nonetheless un-enjoyable 8 wicket win Sunday.

Rudeness, aggression and arrogance greeted the lads at Fuji as the softball knob-jockeys parked the benches on the Fuji Cricket Ground #2 and played stupid catch ball warm-ups where we unreasonable foreign barbarians had entertained dillusions of having a game of cricket. Never mind they could have sat somewhere else and played catchie on the other half of the ground they were using, nope, they excercised their perogative to jerk us around til 1 o'clock. And abused us for good measure. Where was Bish when you need him?

If dealing with those f****its wasn't enough, Predators threatened to take their bats and balls and go home - literally. While the logic of "let's just see" did prevail, their brains trust was reluctant to accept the adjusted game conditions, even before they had been decided. The argument that "we don't want to play a 20 over match" got 'em nowhere with two of Japan's coolest umpiring heads, Thurgate and Lollback. To suggest that we instead play a meaningless hit and giggle practise match instead of playing for points probably didn't help their cause.

Meanwhile the JCA sat on their hands and took the bold approach of asking us not to upset the softball tossers.

Sometime around 1, satisfied that they had not only been a complete bunch of pricks but that had also proved that their Dads are in fact bigger than our Dads, satisfied that what damage to our day that they could not do would be done by the rain, the Kings of The Sandpit Softball Tournament wrapped up and f***ed off. And gracefully allowed us to humbly use our cricket ground for which we must be eternally grateful, amen.

GT sent Predators in to bat in a game reduced to 35 overs. The first few overs were unremarkable before two soft wickets fell. Then came a collision between bowler and runner which may not have been intended but still showed a pretty thorough failure to understand the game. For a fieldsman to get knocked over standing over the stumps awaiting a return requires the runner to be running in the wrong place for a start......

Somehow the other batsman, Kiran, managed to portray himself as the victim of this, having a sook to the umps about something. The bloke was lucky to still be there at all, after being given the benefit of the doubt on a LB call on zero. Unluckily for us, 100 runs later he was still lucky to be there, courtesy of a brace of cross bat slogs and a dozen top edges. Lucky to be dropped 5 times (me twice, sorry Shax!) and lucky he doesnt walk when he edges to the keeper. Still, it's in the book as a ton.

Sometime after Kyal Hill had bowled their best bat and sometime during all that edging and cross-batting, rain sent the players off the field. Whilst we didn't lose any overs, the rain didn't really stop and the ball was rooted. Spinners struggled for control. Koolhof's shwing was abshent. Fieldsmen made meal of catches. Kiran changed his bat three times in three balls and kept getting away with jammy edges.

GT sent down a cricketing lesson to his opposing captain, with a spell so bamboozling that Jarrad would have been forgiven for bring out that lame-arse "Clue Shop" sledge. Chuckie picked up an LB. Shax grabbed a 3fa, despite my woeful display in cow corner. Koolhof bowled one 20 metres straight up into the air, and later picked up a run out, as the two noisiest batsmen this side of Gunma committed ritual suicide in the dying stages.

189 to get. 35 overs. Wet outfield. Long grass. Dark. And none of us had earplugs.

Predators first few overs kept us down to 4 an over, and Adam fell cheap to a slow full toss of all things. Predators appealling was as ludicrous as ever. Triple barrelled HOW IS THAT HOW IS THAT HOW ISSS THAAAAAT cries of the banxshies rung out every few balls. At least in this wet and shitty day the Wombats had something to laugh about. The umpires fortunately weren't amused, or phased.

Ross started off with a huge six over backward square, and carved the bowlers up for a while. He fell slicing one out to the deep, but the bowler Younis let himself down, running up to the batsman, jumping up and down screaming YES YES YES in his face. Congratulations to Ross for not punching his lights out. Predators have some behavoural issues to address.

Well, that was pretty much the last joy for the opposition. Chuck started off with a huge six over square, summing up not only the state of play but his intentions. From that moment the run rate climbed up where we needed it, and not even the most enthusiastic and ambitious appealling could stop it. Steven Burke stood tall, and played second fiddle as C Jones set the tone. His sixes were as huge as they come, and I'd reckon he hit 7 or 8 of 'em. The experienced pair pushed the first runs hard and turned many a single into twos.

It was a lesson. Text book cricket shots. Straight bats, down the ground. Leg side half trackers sent into another postcode. And let's not forget Steven Burke's imperious crunching cut shots. Predos had no answers. The first 100 took about 20 overs, but the remaining 89 runs came in the next 10. Jones (78) and Burke (54) added an unbeaten 143 for a solid 8 wicket win.

Congratulations and thanks to the two blokes who really were deserving of Hardys Man Of The Match awards, Chris Thurgate and David Lollback. Without you two there, who knows what may have happened.

CARNAGE AS EMBASSY DESTROYED BY WMDs! (23/05/2009)
by Ian Gason
>>>Match Scorecard vs British Embassy

The Hardys' Tokyo Ashes will spend another 12 months safe in the Wombats' trophy cabinet after a rampant orgy of runs from the Wombats of Mass Destruction top four set British Embassy the Herculian task of chasing 371 runs, at Ageo Saturday.

Not having to wake up at 6am felt a bit strange for more than a few of us who gathered in Shinjuku for the 0944 Shonan, which fortunately for Iron Bowels Koolhof, came armed with a dunny. Unfortunately for Koolhof, after several attempts to enter the throne room, the train rocked into Ageo sooner than you can say "but I still haven't had my dump yet," leaving our Tasmanian Dutchman contemplating what might have been.

Courtney Jones gave Jarrad Shearer a fine excuse to trot out his word for the day - bogan. Courtney's shoulder now proudly boasts a fine ink memento of his time in the land of the rising sun. Well done Jones. While those in the know discussed the finer points of lines, creams and glad-wrap, the grumpy one tuttered and muttered away.

After the usual standing around, and procrastinating, the mat was laid, boundary marked and the coin came down in the Wombats favour. Ageo II resembled a parched Indian farm, something you might see in Al Gore's "An Incovenient Truth" and promised a lot of runs. Stand in captain, Steven Burke, thought we might have a bat, and watch from the shade of the trees as the Poms sweated it out.

With two blokes from south of the Swan, the choice of openers was already obvious, but when you have a Shearer and a Farmer, it makes sense to make hay while the sun shines. 12 hours after another Sandgroper Adam got amongst the runs in South Africa, our debutant Adam Farmer was soon ploughing through the bowling. In the meantime Shearer, clipped and cut away as he fleeced the uninspiring attack. Cow corner came under regular attack while they milked the bowling for a 95 run partnership. Eyeing the cool of the shade, with 44 from just 28 balls, Farmer decided that he was neither a mad dog or an Englishman and tried to swipe one too many and got bowled.

After a few overs adjusting the rolled plastic top, Ross Ferris took a liking to the trundlers and went to town. No Usain Bolt, Ross reckoned this fast outfield could be used to his advantage. Placing the ball out of reach of the field saved Ross a lot of energy on this hot day. Ross regularly stepped into the shot, stroked the ball away and stepped back into his crease in one smooth motion. No three steps down the crease just in case, nah, that's four, next please. And let's not forget the nine times he cleared the ropes!

Shearer too was amongst the runs, 74 of them in fact. Managed to pull and drive a 6 or three himself. He even managed a whole ONE run in the 32 run wide-fest over (which had the scorers all at sea!). But his good work came undone attempting a second off a fielder they had (incorrectly it appears) picked out as a "custard." 140 partnership, 2/230 or so, and we reckon a big score is on the cards.

With only ten men available late in the week, local boy Dave O'Caroll offered to dust off the whites, and was duly rewarded with the number four slot, and promptly delivered with a first ball four from a classy straight drive. At the other end, Ross was racing towards three figures, but was undone in controversial circumstances.

With the nugget on 97 (55 balls), scorer Alex Koolhof rose from his seat and wandered off mid over to get a drink!!! Dismissing cries of "where the f%$K do you think you're f@@$#ng going!?!?" with a careless "she'll be right" attitude, the walkabout scorer was clearly to blame for Ross coming out of his crease to smear one to cow-corner, and missing. Stumped by the length of the Flemington straight.

As the Wombats stormed past their previous record of 306, Dave continued the run-slaught as he raised his first Wombats 50 with the cleanest hitting seen on the day. Prabhat and Trent both lent run-a-ball support, as did the new look middle order of Burke and Jones. Another fellow who has made solid contribution to very Wombat innings should not be forgotten: Wides, 52.

371 was a big ask, but British Embassy's flexible recruiting policy saw old hands Kamran, Naeem and Mumtaz in their line-up, so with the baked dirt outfield, not impossible.

Burkey entrusted the new pill to me and Kyal Hill, who took on openers Naeem and Salisbury. It was good battle of bat v ball, as a few beatings of the bat would be answered by a few clubbings back over the bowler's head. Lots of oohs and aaghs and some almost half chances, but finally I got an edge which went straight past keeper Farmer and into the safe hands of tough stickers Jones. Kyal Hill got the crucial wicket of Naeem, who skied an edge into the stratosphere. Burkos ran back towards the square leg boundary and took the catch sliding with the flight of the ball (bottle of Hardys #1). Brent was welcomed with a bouncer and answered with some 4s and 6s, before taking on ginger whiskers, Trent Dean. Deano's return rocketed into the top of middle (bottle of Hardys #2) and at 3fa not enough, Embassy were in trouble.

Prabhat was brought on at the Far End, and as Burkey positioned me "right in front of the spectators there" I thought, "jeez, I hope I don't drop one." 2 balls later, Jarrad Shearer is calling me a "f#$%ng show pony" as I took the catch (Mumtaz) over head and steadied before checking I wasn't on the rope. I'll do a backwards roll and stick it in me pocket next time, ya grump!

Shearer again proved that wicket keepers shouldnt be allowed to bowl, by serving up some of the most disgraceful rubbish seen since, well, since last time he bowled. Not even good enough to be called pies, these Andre Adams two-hop things landed in the dirt more often than on the green. Laughter is infectious, and the big man had me and Ross in stitches. Wisely, Burkey gave him a second over, so Dino could get the big shovel out and dig a grave into which we permenantly entomb his bowling ambitions.

Kamran and Chaminda put on their best partnership collecting a fair few boundaries. Ross put paid to that, as Chaminda picked out the (at times not very) safe hands of Big Roy O'Carroll on the boundary. Roy gave us all a scare by failing at the first attempt, but collected the rebound off his chest. Ross also picked up Kamran, who swept adventurously but gloved the ball, which lobbed slowly and dislodged a bail. As the Wombats patted Ross' back, a confused and short-sighted Chuck arrived from cow corner, and enquired, "How was THAT out??"

Big Gay Al belatedly put one on the stumps and got a wicket, which deprived Ross of the first ever 6fa. Ross did get the magic 5, courtesy of a magic pluck out of the air catch (Hardys #3) from a bloke who had just made a meal of fielding two balls in the over, Jarrad Shearer.

Embassy all out 230.

The fleet of vehicles deposited us at Ageo station, where too many Wombats made like Brett and headed for the kitchen. Reggie joined us at the izakaya, and well, Wombats, izakaya, you know how that ends.

Kyal, who had an outstanding day in the field, was also a stand out on the train, firming as favourite for the Golden Thong. Attempting jibberish conversation with the locals about the Engrish on their T-shirts is one thing, but removing the said garment from the confused local, refusing to return it to the half naked lad is definetly pushing it. But to toss the over-priced T through the closing doors!? Kyal, that's Golden!

WONDERFUL WOMBATS STOMP SANO (26/04/2009)
by Courtney Jones
>>>Match Scorecard vs Sano

As QF flight 79 touched down at Narita on Saturday morning in pelting rain I cursed the weather gods for their timing. One more weekend in Perth where rain has been as rare as an ugly chick in Shibuya would have been perfect. I did look at the positive side though. At least I can now get back to eating meals without a volume and calorie count to feed a west African nation for a week.

No phone call Saturday night or Sunday morning calling off the game so I guess we're somehow on. Maybe the cyclone now blowing outside would help dry the ground and it certainly made for a rather wild and rocky van ride down to Fuji much to Laids' distress.

Big puddles on Fuji 2 had blokes with brooms, shovels, rakes, sawdust and even sponges attempting to make it playable but it was obvious we weren't going to start on time with Sano's captain Miyaji insisting on protecting the surface of his beloved Fuji grounds. Eventually the game was moved to the less logged Fuji 1 for a reduced 32 over game, beginning at 12:20 which incidently coincided with 2 of Sano's better players arrival at the ground. Coincidence or gamesmanship? It didn't matter because the Wombats played close to their best cricket to defeat arguably their greatest rivals by 5 wickets in a high quality game on Sunday April 26th.

First gamers Laids (official game) and Kumar were presented with the prized Wombats playing shirt and we were bowling thanks to GT's quality tossing. And bowl we did! Laids and Beefy were as tight as a rusted screw in an opening spell that reduced Sano's very decent top order to 4-18 of 12 overs. Laids bowled quality outswing into a sea breeze that made the Freo Doctor feel like a babies fart while Beefy coming down was boomerranging big innys onto a perfect length. Their control and swing in difficult bowling conditions proved way to good for Sano's top 4. 3 fell to edges to Dino and Beefy produced a yorker from the Waqar Younis textbook (although at a reduced pace!) to bowl the explosive Munir first ball.

Fuji and new face Andrew set about steadying the sinking Sano ship with a 58 run partnership with a mixture of skill and occassional aggression with Fuji's perfectly timed on driven 4 the highlight of the partnership. Shax enticed Fuji into another big shot to have him well caught by Burke at cover for 36 and Andrew edged to Dino straight after to give Matty Strider his first wicket for the Wombats. Unabated Wombats bowling and fielding pressure never allowed Sano's lower order biffers into the game. Razzaq holed out to Trent at cow corner off GT and Miyaji followed, slicing one up to Burkey again at cover without a boundary between them.

Kumar also picked up his first wicket for the club with a beautiful googly, bowling the young Takumi without playing a shot. Takumi was later heard saying he's never seen a googly before and such was the quality of Kumar's I doubt he's still seen one! Keeping a very good Sano side to 9-124 off 32 overs was testament to how well all the Wombats bowled and fielded. 2 wickets to Laids, Beefy and GT. 1 each to Shax, Matty and Kumar.

A tactical change in the batting order saw Dino open up with Beefy and Burkey dropping down to #4. Chasing 125 aginst a quality attack wasn't going to be easy but Dino and Beefy showed their class by seeing off the new ball under immense pressure form Sano's opening bowlers and scoring at a good rate to boot. Andrew in particular bowled with good pace and bounce as did Razzaq but paid the Beefy penalty of bowling a couple of short ones that disappeared over square leg for boundaries.

Hanif took a speccy one hander to dismiss Beefy for 16 and Chuck played on next over to give Sano a sniff at 2-49. However the move of Burkey at 4 proved critical as he and Dino put on 48 decisive runs to take the game out of reach of Sano. Again Razzaq chose the wrong man to bang one in short to as Burkey(26) unloaded a magnificent pull shot for the only 6 of the day and Jarrad showed all his usual doggedness to top score(42) as the game slipped away from Sano. 2 late strikes from Miyaji to give him a chance at a hattrick kept the game interesting to the end but Striders batting prowess blunted the hattrick threat and his expert piercing of the gap between keeper and first slip saw the Wombats home with 25 balls to spare and our second JCL victory of the season.

Hardy's Wombats best went to Beefy Jesse for his 2/15 off 7 and 16 runs double. Sano's best to Andrew for his allround efforts and Hardy's Play of the Day went to Hanif for his speccy catch. Special mention to Dave Lolback who umpired the game expertly and without fuss. It's said that the best umpires are the ones who aren't noticed and Dave certainly did that and had a great game.

Wombats victory song was sung but perhaps not with full participation because some newer members aren't yet fully versed. Beers were consumed quickly with the cold wind forcing all to the sanctuary of the van and Maccas. Plenty of cricket talk on the van back to Tokes and fairly uneventful with only a couple of minor wrestling skirmishes erupting signaling our inebriation.

An excellent allround display by the Wombats set up by the opening spells of Laids and Beefy which ultimately proved the difference between the 2 sides. Oh yeah. We did all this with 10 men, too! If we consistently play as well as we did last Sunday then we'll again be hard to beat in 2009. Bring on the Ashes! May 23rd!

DEBUTANT SLAYS WYVERNS IN GF REPLAY (12/04/2009)
by Ross Ferris
>>>Match Scorecard vs Wyverns

On a brilliant sunny day with Fuji providing a once again very scenic backdrop, the Wommies took on Wyverns in the first official match of the season. There was a pre-game shirt presentation to debutant Wombats Trenton, Gavin and Matt.

Captain Invincible Burke won the toss and elected to bat before he and Beathy strode to the crease to systematically dismantle the Wyverns attack. A partnership of 122 in 18 overs set up a perfect platform for us to establish an imposing total for the Wyverns to chase. Beathy was in great touch hitting three towering sixes to the long off region as well as cover driving and pulling with class. Burkey played a back seat role but showed enough to suggest he is in for a big season before he was dismissed for 32.

I joined Beathy for a partnership of 88 before Gavin was dismissed to a very sharp leg side stumping for a superb 118. Dino joined me and soon after I played a donkey shot, holing out to a terrific catch from the young Japanese fella dressed as a baseballer for 45. Curly and Dino (Heckyl and Jeckyl) enjoyed a loving and caring partnership of 18 with Mars Bars calling out to Fast Cars and Fast Cars telling Mars Bars to go and do the same. Dino pulled off one of his signature dummy spits when he slapped out to cow corner only for Houdini to raise one hand, take a classic catch and then miraculously produce the ball from behind his back...a great catch enjoyed by all...except the seething Chiangmai Dinosaur. "F&#$ing showpony $#@!".

After Reggie received a sandshoe crusher and a black toe first ball he looked up to see the umpire's finger raised. Wickets fell quickly with the tail proving to be decidedly longer than what you would expect from the standard Australian marsupial. Killer and Rayos managed to block out the last over possibly taking the captain's instruction of seeing out the overs a little too far when Rayos turned one to fine leg for a possible two runs only to hear a "NO" call from Killer and the batsmen stood their ground. 7 for 242 off the allotted 40 overs.

Rayos and Curls opened the bowling but didn't manage to break the Wyverns opening partnership. Curly bowled a very accurate spell however to eventually finish with 1/25 of 8 overs, beating the bat many-a-time. First change saw Al Koolhof get the breakthrough with the batsman chopping on. The very next ball, the momentum swung the Wombats way even further with the new batsman clean bowled.

One highlight of the day was Dino's one handed horizontal catch diving in front of Burkey at first slip off Curly's bowling. Matt Stride and Beathy both bowled some good line and length at times with Beathy picking up two clean bowleds. Matt decided he didn't like the look of the muscle top on Dino's mate and bounced him twice only to see two of the cleanest and longest pull shot 6's you would ever want to see. Burkey was nice enough to throw me the ball when the tail arrived. I was supported by some great catching from Killer (AKA John Dyson play of the day) and Al to finish with 4 wickets.

Trent finished the innings off with his first Wombat wicket and the Wommies were home by 60 runs in an impressive start to the season with some quality players to come back into the side.

The van ride home was riddled with Changmai "cricket" stories, identification of lady boy features and Killer needing a pit stop every 10 minutes. Chu-Hi filled the esky which was somehow empty when we arrived back at Harajuku. Rayos and Beathy went back to their youth on the locals' skateboards until general consensus persuaded Beathy to give it a miss as it appeared highly likely he was going to cause himself some serious damage.

Great start to the year Wommies and an enjoyable day on many levels for all.

2009 BEGINS WITH A RUSTY, MUDDY WIN (15/03/2009)
by Ian Gason

The only predators to land a blow on the Wombats at Fuji Sunday were the crows that stole Ross and Trent's lunch, as the team formally known as Tokyo Dragons chased their tails all day. Marsupials ate, rooted and left victorious by 7 or 8 wickets as Ballarat's Billy Birmingham Ross Ferris spanked an unbeaten 79.

The Wombat unit assembled for the first practise match of the year bore little resemblance to the Grand Final team - no Rhino, Reggie, Morty, Pup, Burkey. And with 5 or more players lurking on the sidelines, it would appear our numbers have been shored up for our 2009 season.

Four new Wombats - Rory from Jo'burg, Trent from Aust and two Kiwis Jesse Beath and Eugene Bogun (no really, that's his name) joined the hardy vets at Harajuku, piled into the (late) van and we made good haste to Fuji. Beaut clear skies, marvelous views of the ol' mountain and small festering ponds on the field? What more could you ask for in a day's cricket?

New skip GT lost his first toss, and after we made a meal of some fielding practise, we headed out to dust off the rust, and knock the Predators over. Huge Euge was given the first over and delivered duly with a LBW. Not to be out-done, yours truly at the river end saw his LBW and raised him a C&B. 3/7 at the end of the second, and down at fine leg I was thinking, "that Jarrad bloke IS right. It's NOT rocket science."

Big Gay Al ended a recovery of sorts by getting his big gay body down and grabbing a catch at square leg, an effort which earned him a bottle of Hardys. Not that he was grateful, bleating at the presentation, "but I've already got one of those!" Well, now you've got two, ya blouse.....

GT tossed the ball to Trent, who threw down a pie. The batsmen tickled it round the corner where H-eugene spilled it. So was the pattern of the day. 7+ catches went down, from the GT's comical slip & slide, to Shaxxie's gully sitter, and a couple of sharper but catchable ones here there and everywhere in between.

Determined to make a game of it, we sent down a disgraceful 38 wides for the day. Gavin Beath garnered 4 in one over and plenty of blokes 2 or 3 an over. Rory bowled some handy stuff, as well as some stuff best summed up by mate Eugene's call from fine leg, "Rory, that's shithouse! Come on!"

With Koolhof's famously dexterous digits not delivering his deadly shwing, and our slapstick efforts in the field, Younis and partner added 60 for the 5th wicket, although it wasn't a partnership for the proverbial photo album. The reluctant bowler GT (or was it Rory?) broke the partnership with his usual no frills, do-I-have-to style of pin-point bowling.

Some of the better techniques on display in the field included the old "Fall over and lie in the path of the ball" method, the "Fall over and watch the ball go under you" method, the "Fall over 10 metres from a catch" method, and the "Spike the ball over the boundary for six" method.

Our slow men - Luke, Shax and Ross - who we can expect to play an important role in the post Pup & Morty era, followed the skipper's tight example in the latter stages. Rayos in particular sent down one of the most controlled and controlling spells of his career. With the red pens warming up, the last pair had a belated crack and added 20 or so, mostly in the last two overs. The final total a flattering 195, and as a Predator whoopied as the 100 came up, "we need two hundred today." Nah, try 3.

As the temperature dropped and the wind blew cold, Gav and Jarrad went out to accomplish the mission. Runs came steadily, and the 4th over produced 20 runs. Seems these IT blokes had all read the Monty Panesar Big Book Of Appealling, and had a few Wombats doing a Bish - "where's my Ipod!?!". Or some earplugs.

Gavin Beath feathered one and walked with the score on 49, and when Jarrad followed moments later with his woodwork assunder the celebrations caused him to ask, "You think you've won the World Cup, do you?"

Despite not having his preferred MRF, Ross Ferris wheeled through the Predos bowling. Several overs went for 20+. He raised his 50 in 40 balls before he'd even raised a sweat. (And Ross aint no super athlete!) No raise of the bat though, a sign of a job half done. Chuck however was a little more circumspect, racking up 13 dot balls between his 1st and 2nd runs. The over appealling had now got out of hands, and though I can't recall the exact phrase he used, the former skipper politely suggested to the slips that perhaps you gentleman may wish to curtail these frivilous enquiries.

It wasn't a suggestion well received, and the Predo boss thought the comments out of line. Difference of opinions were exchanged, the umpires consulted and a skipper to skipper tet a tet on the boundary followed. Apparently they had found cause for concern in our fielding demeanour (not enough dropped catches?) and we now had to sit back and enjoy their 4.5 appeals an over.

Not long after that Chuck slashed at a couple of rubbish balls and was dropped once and missed once. The pair really began to tee off after drinks and wrapped it all up quicker than a dry one-liner from Richie Benaud. Ross plonked how many sixes 20 rows back? Chuck joined in the dragon slaying with some big shots of his own. Ross retired on 79 to make an early start on his bottle of Hardys, and GT and Chuck took us home in the 25th over.

15 overs of centre wicket practise followed, with me and GT shamelessly hogging half of it. Eugene came in and launched his second ball into the jungle. Rory showed he could up the ante late in the day, and Shax saw live action for the first time since June of 2006.

The journey home was its own special challenge. That super market with the easy parking and a Maccas is now on the Wombat's shit-list, courtesy of a team of glo-stick waving oji-sans, a round the block and inside out maze of a carpark and no longer having a McChucks. As the driver said, you stick ya f****ng glo-sticks up ya bums.

If that traffic jam wasn't THE worst ever, I would not hesitate to rate it the second worst we have ever encountered. Fortunately the new Wombats got into the spirit of the van (depsite seriously under-catering - 2 cans?) paying out on their new buttered fingered, tea-potting, pie-chucking team-mates in the high (and low)lights. Conversation ended up in the gutter, and these new blokes showed no hesitation in sharing with fellas 10 hours ago strangers, their deep held feelings for Steffi Graf and Miko Lee. The present and future make up of the Nine Commentary Team was giving a critical once over, which inevitably lead to guest appearance from Darrel Eastlake, Ray Warren, Richie, Tony, Bill, Maxie Walker, and even Killer and Morty.

League games commence April. Schedule out soon. A few blokes could do with a few more overs in the nets, so get down to training - details coming.

In the meantime, it's off to the chrome pole palaces and the Chiang Mai Sixes! Watch this space!