Resurrected Paddy Takes the Chocolates

by Joe Lewis

It was a cloudy day at the SICG with patches of grey and reports of a sighting of something never recorded before in existing records. Wombats on the scene at 9am!!!

After the disappointing result of last week’s match, many members of that fateful team were chomping at the bit to right the wrong by making an effort to get out of bed extra early (except Rasi) to get to the ground and work on their technique in the nets (except Rasi who lives 20 minutes away) all fired up and ready to get underway by 10:30 (except Rasi who was just arriving and investigating the toilet facilities.)

Skipper Ali shows his consistency in all areas of his cricket and unfortunately coin tosses appear to be one of them as the Paddy’s sent the Wombats in to bat on a slow outfield. Would the 105 of April 2nd repeat itself? Absolutely not. Richie Bracefield was back on the scoresheet where he belonged, partnering with ex-skipper to provide a solid opening foundation of 90 odd (gaining some overdue luck with a couple of lives along the way) before edging behind for 38(37). Ali joined Patmore next looking a little bit unsettled and struggled to time the ball for the first half of his innings but still finding runs, with overs starting to dry up he selflessly holed out on 46. Patmore was briefly joined by debutant Mick, who after what he described as “decades” away from competitive cricket found himself in a harsh position where he had to immediately go for broke. In future matches I hope to write more about his batting exploits as he showed an excellent array of shots in the nets that I am certain will serve him well in future JCA fixtures. He edged behind going big for 3.

Next was “Sexy Rexy”, a lad whose preferred style of batting could be described as a casual stroll along an endless coastline stopping occasionally to idly skim stones along the water’s edge and reflect on life’s pleasures. He went to the crease with the required scenario being a Rocky 3 style sprint across the sands which to his credit he performed with great aplomb.

In the dying overs,while targeting the largest total possible Patmore finally holed out for his largest ever score of 122 and was STILL pissed with himself. An incredible performance and an -encouraging indicator that relieving skipper duties will not have a negative impact on his insatiable appetite for runs.

Robb went to help Rex make a fist of getting to the magic 250 and kept the strike rotating, falling in the final over. Rasi arrived too late to the crease to face a ball (as is his apparent mantra) and Rex got the side to a highly respectable score of 248. Confidence was at a high.

In the second innings I myself opened the bowling, now typing about this is pretty tough for me but I am told in confidence it will be therapeutic so here it goes:

Iforgothowtobowlandmyfacehitthewicketmorethanmydeliveriessorryladswillbebetternexttime.

Did get a wicket though.

With the Paddy’s off to a flyer and knowing  that their best chance was a fire over water approach they set at the total with a 20/20 mindset. They were losing wickets but the deficit was closing just that little bit faster and now I will relay a phrase that I will now copy into my notes to save me typing in future:

The wombats kept dropping catches and that ultimately cost them.

This is not a name and shame but I dropped 2, Rex 2, Ali 1 (but being Ali he mentally forced the universe to give him 2 more catching opportunities to make up for it) and at least 3 more.

Not pretty.

Despite this the Paddy’s were about 200/5 at 30 overs, at this stage the run rate was below 5 and it was evident we needed to bowl out. The wombats almost did it, having them 7 down by the 32nd over but their last recognized batsmen Imran played a blinder, showing fantastic match awareness throughout his innings to guide his limping side home.

It was a gutting experience to lose when victory looked all but ours at the halfway mark.

But there were positives. A great many positives.
First our batters: Patmore back and better than ever, Richie getting underway, Rex showing that he can adapt to the scenario, Ali showing a captain’s heart and Mick hitting the ground running to ensure he wasn’t run out.

Now the bowlers. Rasi, despite nursing a hangover, somehow managed to turn on a fantastic bowling display, bowling with an inner fire and competitive desire that so nearly brought us home.
Mick Walker and Bilal both stepped up to bowl the overs that our depleted bowling attack so desperately needed, keeping the Paddy’s honest and well aware they were in a fight. As one with a bruise memento on his neck will attest courtesy of Bilal.
Robb who initially slaughtered in his opening overs as the Paddy’s made their onslaught found a way to get tighter and tighter, with fielding support he would have enjoyed so much more success.

Finally the all rounder;

Batting, bowling, fielding, captaining. Ali put in a performance that can only be described as heroic. Contributing with the bat, bowling a full 8 overs and setting the field. Ali took a blow to the chest for his troubles all the while observing Ramadan.
I could type a while on the subject, everyone who was there probably could but let’s not.

A captain has to be many things but put all together it all adds up to just one.

A role model.

I hope our newer players enjoyed the day and we hope to see you all soon!

Thank you to Ben for jumping into our 11th place and giving his passionate effort in the field and to Ev for scoring and scolding Rasi for his tardiness.

Catches

• Alex nice grab behind the stumps
• Ali, leading by example and showing the team how to use 2 hands and catch a ball!

Dropped Catches

• Joe – easy one at square leg juggled 4 or 5 times before spilling it
• Sexy Rexy – two sitters, skied ones, got underneath it, completely missed it.
• Ben – easy one at mid off, in and out.

Quotes

• “I speak fluent Urdu” – Ev, translating the team are going to swap the 12th man in at the end of the next over!
• Ev: “which girlfriend is he (Rex) on the phone to?” Joe: “I think that’s his mum”!
• “NOOOOOOOO run there…..You might be able to run on that though!” – Ev, with his trademark shout and scream at point to stop the batsman running a quick one, almost gave up overthrows by forgetting how to throw and lobbing the ball 100m in the air!
• “YES” – screams one of the Paddy batters while laughing towards Ev after blocking the ball and where there is obviously no run to be had! Well played!

Great Moments in Sport

• Ali – superhero effort, while on ramadan too, leading by example with the bat 46, with the ball 3 for, and in the field, taking a few catches, and almost another one somehow stopping the ball with his chest to an absolute rocket that almost broke a few ribs. While he was coughing up blood, was still pissed at himself for not catching it! We were more relieved that he was still alive!
• Patmore – a career best 122! Loves scoring a ton in a losing team….! Great effort
• Young Mick – a sprightly 50 years old, was the best fielder in the team, and more than handy with the bat and ball too.

Dummy Spits

• Ben, throwing his cap to the ground in disgust as another chance goes begging!
• Ev – giving Rasi a dressing down for being an hour and a half late, even though he lives 20 mins from the ground!

Golden Thong Nominations

• Rasi – an hour and a half late, but living closest to the ground only 20 mins away!
• Joe – forgetting how to bowl, and also walk or coordinate his arms and legs during his first over, tripping over himself and falling flat on his face on the pitch! Got a wicket next ball though!
• Ev – getting dementia (he is old) shouting left hander, left hander – when no one had changed ends.