FIRE, FLOODS, THE APPEARANCE OF ANGELS

by Ian Gason

This is going to read more like a page from The Bible than a cricket report. Fire, floods, the appearance of angels…. and blokes standing around saying “Jesus, Oh Jesus!”

Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the cricket field, fire has scorched our first game for the year, scheduled for Gunma against the Lions. A case OIJ (Only In Japan), The Fire Brigade has no other place to play firemen besides the Gunma Cricket Ground. All month.

Perhaps we could send someone up to Gunma for a little omiyage? We are going to need something to put in the Tokyo Ashes Urn, and seeing as Andy Hall savaged my new bat, we will NOT be able to burn my old one after all. Still, Jarrad had arranged a wee outing with his good mate Biju and the Indian Engineers, so at least we would get to have a game, even if it was only a practise match. I’d volunteered to be the trigger man, and was looking forward ever so much to the honour of giving Jarrad out.

We had a fair bit of rain during the week, so we were expecting a few damp areas, and maybe a little bit of mud. What we had not expected was Ian Thorpe practising his starts, and nine species of fish swimming on the pitch.

That’s right, the pitch was actually under water. A few nameless Wombats seemed to have divined this ahead of time and not made the journey from pillow to Koiwa. Most of the Indians took one look and headed for home faster than a West Indian collapse. The rest of us stood around in circles, working on our sun-tans and admired the view of the lakes.

Not wishing that new Wombat Steve Burke would think us the kind of Club that couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery, we did get into some catching (and dropping) practise. This had NOTHING to do with the appearance of the Japanese Womens Team, who had also planned to use the Koiwa Aquatic Centre for some cricket practise.

Whilst a couple of guys who hadn’t read the weather forecast for Sunday attempted to drain the lakes with a bloody long hose, Wombats continued to impress the girls….I mean Burky….with their safe hands. That is, until Chuckie dislocated his finger. Then it was back to the circles, contemplating a day watching the footy, or joining Pete at the races. As the girls we’re paying us clowns no attention what so ever, practise was abandoned for the day.

Andy went on to pick a couple of winners at Nakayama. Brett was a winner, taking the kit home. The big winner for the day was in Sydney, Race 5, The $2million BMW weight for age, taken out by GRAND ZULU!

Barring further acts of divine intervention, our ‘first’ game is now April 25th at Koiwa v Lalazar. Those of you unavailable (Burky, mate, you can get married another day can’t you?) let Jarrad know a.s.a.p.. B.Y.O. flippers and HAZCHEM suits.