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KRAC BATS SMACK SLACK WOMBAT ATTACK!!
by Ian Gason
Kobe Rowing And Athletic Club sent Tokyo Wombats to their first defeat for the season in Game One of the Hardys’ Kobe Challenge, held UNDER LIGHTS at KRAC Saturday. Batting first KRAC cracked a cracking 260 from 35 mediocre overs, running out winners by 35 runs (or so).
Dr. B Love’s Trip Report will give you some idea of the state of the struggling Wombats. Fortunately as the playing XI was selected on a “first in best dressed” basis Killer (with Shaxx too) was playing against us, not for us (though it may not have seemed that way at times).
KRAC innings began with Rayos and yours truly -in game #50 for the Club- sending down 14 dot balls, followed by two 4s and a wicket. KRAC responded to this rude invasion of their hallowed ‘turf’ by slapping us around like Tommy Lee did to Pamela Anderson. Several times Wombats were sent on search missions through the streets of down-town Kobe.
Sir Viv was once famously told “it’s round and it’s red.” But on one lost ball mission, it was neither red nor round. We knew what it looked like, but we couldn’t find it. The white ball had been run over by a bus and squashed into the white line, coming back looking like a large, shiny leather egg.It was replaced by a ratty old thing, but we did get an immediate result with it. 2/60 or so, and things were looking up.Looking up was something we did for the rest of
Looking up was something we did for the rest of the afternoon. Looking up to see the ball flying over the fence. Looking up to the heavens for inspiration. Looking up and finding Jarrad Shearer bowling.KRAC skip Russel (90-odd) pierced the field like some U-beaut hi-tech field piercing gizmo. Dave G (also 90-odd) may have been wearing a kit that looked like he shops at the Salvos, but combined with Russ for a 160 run partnership, which I’d say is one of the biggest ever against the Wombats (don’t quote me!). So well was Dave batting that not once were the words “Wagga Wagga” used in anger.
Many hideously bad balls got much hideously bad treatment. Onto the tennis court, down the street, past the clubroom, into the next suburb. With so many white balls flying through the air I was thinking the darts and bananas would be next. The ugly stick was out and we were on the wrong end of it.Jarrad Shearer, flying the flag for that mis-understood species, the keeper-bowler, got two wickets. In two balls. The momentous hat-trick ball was not captured by camera man P Shaxx who was pre-occupied photographing the young lasses of the lacrosse team!
Unlike the lacrosse-ettes, the ball was a mongrel, a shave its arse and teach it to walk backwards mongrel. Leg side over the head full toss that you couldn’t have hit with anything smaller than Monaco. Not even Jarrad appealed.
The carnage ended with Kobe 260 after 35. Me and Rayos bowled 14 overs for 60. Alex, Jarrad, Pup, Whiskas (oooh Whiskas, that was a spanking), Kyal: 21 over for 200 runs!!
In the twilight, Whiskas and Burkos opened up and began well, scoring runs and not getting out, two attributes I rate highly in an opening partnership. The lights came on, which is always a good thing when playing at night. These two played a lot of lovely shots until one them got out, and another Wombat came in at #3. (You’d be right for thinking my memory is failing me at this moment.)
This pattern continued. One of the KRAC guys bowling, our blokes hitting the ball. Runs were made and wickets fell. 28. Two blokes made 28, one of them the dynamic Tim Whiskas. Doc (28 maybe?) made a good number of runs, before enjoying the rare privilege of being bowled by his own team-mate. (Shax, not Killer. His 17 run over was his only!). Pup tried to smack his first ball back over the bowler, reducing his day/night career to one unhappy ball.Courtney Jones made a fair few spank-tacular runs, probably 50 or more if I remember correctly. Jarrad was amongst it too. But the main attraction of the day was not on the sacred 20 metres in the middle, but staggering around, dai-joki in hand on the fine leg boundary.
The man described as a “a monument to the human struggle” by Luke Ray (one in a good position to judge, CM vets would agree) Killer Kelly was momentous. And struggling. Sneaking sips (ok, GULPS) between balls, Killer fielded pretty damn well for a man with so much blood in his alcohol. Dis-orientation, blurred vision, reduced motor-skills played their part in a few errors, none bigger or more legendary than one at deep square leg.Courtney Jones had twice spanked Paul Shax for Peter North sized 6s and went for number 3. He found Killer. The ball found Killer. Smoother than a baby’s bum Killer took the catch, but with his foot touching against the boundary. Vaguey aware of the proximity of the boundary, Killer stood on one foot (still touching the boundary) and balanced. Like all good drunks, he toppled, slowly, slowly. At about 40 degrees to the ground, he had the presence of mind to keep the ball in the field, before continuing on his merry way to the horizontal world awaiting his arrival.
Unfortunately for Killer and KRAC this happened 1 metre from the scorers’ tent, and we had no hesitations in pointing out the touching foot detail. 6 runs awarded, but jeez Killer, that was classic.
Roy O’Carrol got his first ball away thru the Killer Zone for 4 and made a few more to keep us on track for this huge chase. When he got out, I went out to join the skip and added a few before Chuck was bowled. Things petered out from there (much like Killer would later in the evening…..).
Rayos got bowled (duck?) and Kyal copped a beauty that cut in from behind his legs to renovate his castle. With 2 overs and 40 to get, it was perhaps more than me and the Body Koolhoff could manage, so the plan was to play out the overs, and keep the run-rate differential as low as possible, as this would decide the Hardys Kobe winner if we got up on Sunday.Plan in hand, next ball I called Al through for a suicidal single and that was that.
Hardys’ B.O.G. awards went to Chuck and Dave from Wagga, and the Hardys U-beaut moment was won by Pat (KRAC) for a rippa catch to dismiss, umm, a batsmen I guess.
Great game, privilege to play under lights, smack bang in the middle of town, and the stage was set for some memorable memories that evening.
