LIONS PICK OFF WOBBLY WOMBATS

by Ian Gason

The 20-over circus returned to Koiwa Sunday, with the usual shennanigans including some ferocious lions and a large assortment of clowns, most of them in Wombats shirts. On a day where even the simple things like turning up proved challenging, we did little right, and went on to record another loss to the Sri Lankan Lions, and more disappointingly, our first ever loss to The Falcons.

Last time I reported on these 20-over games, I was challenged on my version of a certain catch that wasn’t, and although I’m sure I called that one correctly, I’m buggered if I can sort out which game was which yesterday. So excuse me while I just make it up.

A typhoon threatened earlier in the week, but with the Narita Cup footy also on, Smoker’s call from last year year rang true again: Typhoon? Not for Narita. And so it wasn’t, although some of our newer wombats aren’t aware of The True-isms Of Smoker. Yet. Always a worry when you blood a new bloke, so as I came through at Koiwa, it was pleasing to see new man David O’Carroll was first there.

So we gathered, the numbers grew, we did the count, and as always, can’t place one man…Mann! Ax. Call him up. “Ah yeah….just got out of the shower mate!” 30 minutes to show-time. Cossie’ll be going straight there, Regan Doyle, well, messages were left on phone, so let’s taxi boys. Arriving at the ground, expecting to see a pride of Lions and the usually impeccably marked ground that accompanies them, we saw nothing. Not a soul. SNAFU? Training sesh? No, the Lions had arrived earlier and decided to go for brekky!

So we got a game, Chuck enjoyed a succesful toss, and decided we’d bat. Batting order was tinkered with, and as usual met with little success. Not long after the innings began, Ax staggerred blurrily over the hill, completing the shower to ground run in about an hour. A hard night of team bonding with Whiskas at Magambos had taken its toll on him, and he had done well to make it. Unlike our newest Regan, who never did.

The Lions bowling was ketchi as ever. Chunky was promoted to opener, and minus his old County Chunky (lost on a train, Pete!) carved out 14 runs. Slow scoring, part and parcel of playing the Lions, would later prove our downfall. David (14) got his first dig and #4, and looks like he knows who to handle the willow. One six landed a metre short of the rubbish bins. If it had gone in, would he have won a car?

Most of the rest of us disappointed, with 2 exceptions. Our most under-rated batsmen revealed himself: Reggie top-scored with 25, including a Hardys’ winning cow-corner six. And Drunk Mann Walking, knicked me MRF while I wasn’t looking, and then proceeded to score more runs than I ever have with it! A couple of trademark Ax-chops later and our innings was over. About 110, but who’s counting?

Jarrad decided that his not bringing the ‘keeper’s gear gave him the right to choose a stand-in for the day, and sensibly he choose a bloke having trouble seeing: Ax.

So, anyway, I opened, got smacked around, though one edge went past ol’ Red Eyes behind the stumps. Shaxxie shared the new ball. Chunkie had a bowl, got a wicket. Chandana, the leftie, was riding his luck to a 60-odd score. Chuck spilled a chance at mid-wicket and followed it up with a captain-sized Dummy Spit. As he let fly a wild & woolly overthrow, he also let fly a wild & woolly remark, “F**K! THIS IS A SHIT GAME!”.

Meanwhile in the covers, Jarrad was humming Moving Pictures one and only hit, “What about me?” (it isn’t fair/I’ve had enough/now I want my share) Chuck felt sorry for him and gave him a trundle, and godddamn it, it isn’t rocket science after all!

The big bugulag not only got himself his first wicket, but just when you thought you’d better buy some earplugs, some Lankan carted one to me at cow corner. I had plenty of time to make a tough call: listen to him go on about a wicket, or a dropped chance? I took it.

Lions waltzed home, continuing their hold over us. Last time we beat these boys was back in 2002, in the rain game.