Sunshine, Sizzles, and Smashing Sixes!

by Arron Regin

It was one of those days when you wonder if you’re in the middle of a cricket match or a survival reality show. The sun was blazing down at a sweltering 37 degrees, with humidity so thick you could almost slice it with a bat. Captain Ali, showing an enthusiasm that can only come from turning up two hours early (seriously, who does that?), won the toss and decided to bat first. With a stunning, cloud-free view of Mount Fuji as our backdrop, the scene was set for what we hoped would be a cracking day of cricket. Spoiler: It was, just not quite in the way we imagined.

1st INNINGS: The Wommies Take the Stage

The batting started off like a cautious date—nervous and a bit unsure. Alex was looking solid, until he suddenly decided to take retirement a bit too seriously, hobbling off with a calf injury after a well-made 27. He looked like he was ready to hit some big ones, but alas, it wasn’t meant to be. We’ll just say he’s saving it for the next game… right?

Captain Ali didn’t fare much better. After a brief stay at the crease that made a blink seem long, he was caught behind for 3, leaving the rest of the team in quite a state. The middle order didn’t do much to avenge Ali. Masaki Kawashima and Tetsuro Kato, both looking good, succumbed to some tricky bowling by Dilip Silva, who, despite his 4-foot stature, turned the ball more than a doorknob during Halloween.

And then, there was Abdul Samad. If the innings were a movie, Samad was the blockbuster climax. His 52 off 34 balls, filled with sixes that nearly knocked birds out of the sky, was exactly the kind of destruction the doctor ordered. Partnered with Arpan, who anchored the innings with a well-made 38 with a couple of well timed 4’s, they took the team from what looked like a disaster to a somewhat respectable total. Not to forget Tanzeem’s moment of glory—a monstrous six over square leg that almost made us forget the heat… almost.

The tail didn’t wag much, with Archit Choudhury under-edging one to the keeper for a duck and Kavin skying a bouncer to get caught. We wrapped up at 177 all out in 33.3 overs, leaving the bowlers with a fighting chance, or so we hoped.

Bowlers Who Made Us Sweat (Literally):

Mohsin Riaz was the pick of the bowlers with 3 wickets, reminding everyone why fast bowling in the heat should be left to the professionals.
Dilip Silva, the off-spinning wizard, bamboozled our batters, picking up 2 wickets while barely breaking a sweat. We suspect he might be a secret weapon, released only on unsuspecting batsmen.

2nd INNINGS: When We Got NIAZI’d

If you’ve ever wondered what it feels like to be at the wrong end of a steamroller, just ask our bowlers. The innings started with a glimmer of hope when Ashiq Hussain was stumped by a sharp piece of work from Patmore off Abdul Samad’s bowling. But that hope was quickly extinguished by Hanif Niazi, who apparently mistook our bowling for a friendly net session. His 106 off 57 balls was a merciless exhibition of power-hitting. Poor Archit started off with a few decent deliveries, but after being launched over midwicket, he never quite recovered.

Abdul Samad, still riding high from his batting heroics, pulled off a stellar all-round performance. He bowled a tidy spell, even sneaking in a maiden over, and ended with 3 wickets. Definitely the man of the match for the wommies

Arron Regin’s day went from promising to painful as he followed Archit’s lead, starting well but getting absolutely walloped later on. A drop from ARPAN didn’t help matters, as Hanif Niazi continued his rampage.

Kavin  and Nigel  tried to salvage something, with Kavin starting off tremendously picking up a wicket and a maiden.The same can be said about Nigel who gave us a glimmer of hope after his massive scalp of Hanif . But by then, the damage was done. Hanif Niazi had taken the game out of our hands, and the match ended in a 5-wicket loss, with Irfan Khan providing the final flourish.

Funny Moments (Because Every Cloud Needs a Silver Lining):

Arpan dropped Hanif Niazi on 49. As if we needed another reason to cry into our sports drinks.

Kavin and Arron engaged in what can only be described as “nipple play” during the match. We’re still not sure if it was a new fielding tactic or just the heat getting to them.

Alex Patmore advised Tanzeem not to play the cut shot against a certain bowler, only to proceed to play the exact same shot himself and get out two overs later. Classic.

Final Thoughts:

Despite the result, it was a fun day out with some unforgettable moments (though some we might want to forget). Abdul Samad stole the show with his all-round brilliance, and let’s just say, if this was his one game for the season, he’s left a lasting impression. Up the Wommies, and here’s to hoping for a less NIAZI’d future!

P.S. We’re playing them again next week. Let’s get ’em lads!