Wombats sQuashed by Alpha Quashers

by Evan Hitchman

After the non-event of the day before with Paddy Foley’s forfeiting, the Wombats were keen to get back to action in the middle and seek revenge on the Alpha Quashers after their recent close loss in the JCL game at Fuji. Winning the toss, Ev put the Quashers into bat and sent the fiery pace of Kyal “Hamburger” Hill to open the bowling alongside Augustine “I love Fuji hotels” Jacobs.

AJ started the day off with a bang…and also got an early wicket taking the opener who was well caught by Steve “Genghis – The Full Mongol” Palmer. Our speedster off 2 steps at the other end bowled a tight over as usual to keep the pressure on Alpha. Later in the morning AJ exploded all over the place, and also took wickets with the first 2 balls of his second over, the first one can you believe it….caught at point by Jamie “Donald” Payne for his 100th catch in that position for the Wommies with safe hands as always, and the next one caught by Kyal. The Quashers were in big trouble at 3-for-8 in the third over and in desperate need of a partnership.

Jayakumar and danger man, Dhaka did just that putting on 60 odd, despite really tight, good bowling by Dean “My name’s not Abbott” Dowey and Kyal who, upon coming back for his 4th over elicited a groan from Dhaka who said “Oh no, not again, I hate this guy!”. Kyal finished up with 0/17 off 4, really unlucky not to have a wicket, but a fantastic opening spell that put us in with a great chance of limiting Alpha Q to a small total.

In need of a breakthrough, the Wombats looked back through the scorebook and found the most unlikely of bowlers to bring into the attack. Evan “Still receiving therapy” Hitchman, coming off his last over at YCAC a year ago, vs Alpha Q which went for 38!!!, was brought on and the Quashers must have thought all their Christmases had come at once (are we allowed to say that, is that borderline?!!). Bowling a very slow, very full wobbler first ball saw Patmore behind the stumps utter – “take even more off that if you want Ev, as slow as you want!”. Not sure how to bowl it much slower than he already had, Ev took his 2 steps up to the wickets, stopped completely, and then standing still “bowled” a ball so slow it made Shaxy look like Shoaib Akhtar! Literally boring the batsman into submission Ev finished the over with a wicket, when Jayakumar, frustrated at having no pace to work with, whacked at a ball that was going to be a wide and hit it straight to Luke “Uso” Eyes at point (where were you Jamie?!!).

Deano kept bowling well without luck, building pressure and at the other end perennial Wombat Destroyer, Dhaka tried a slog over mid wicket and was clean bowled by Ev, who did his best Greg Matthews impersonation with the celebration going absolutely mental jumping into the air further, and with more energy than we’ve any seen him when he’s attempting a catch off your bowling for the Wommies! A few balls later and Ev had his third, Sengodan out LBW and Nick “Grobbelar” Bruce finished off a great period by getting his first wicket for the Wombats, and Alpha Q were in all sorts at 7/90, struggling to get to 3 figures. Adam “Karasu” Cronin bowled well late, giving nothing away and getting rewarded with 2 wickets before the last wicket was run out leaving the Wombats chasing a very gettable 108 for victory. Great fielding by the whole team with no dropped catches from memory, and excellent bowling, energy and banter the whole innings (I guess cos Richie wasn’t playing?!).

Needing just over 5 an over to score their 2nd win of the T20 season, the Wommies opened up with Michael “My favourite comedian is Richie” Farrell and Jamie again, hoping for another 50 from Mick and for Jamie, who has looked good in decent weeks without luck to breakout with a big score. If we thought 108 would be an easy target and early beers on the cards, that thought was put to bed quickly with Mick gone 3rd ball, plum LBW and first drop Nick bowled 5th ball, leaving the Mongol to see out a fired up Gurman Singh’s first over, a double-wicket maiden that stunned the Wombats leaving us 2/0. Skipper Nandha was bowling from the other end, and was bowling with vigour, giving Jamie and Palmer nothing to play with, and looking dangerous with each delivery. After a few overs of resistance Jamie was out, skying one to mid-off to Nandha, while at the other end Palmer and Cronin became the next victims of Gurman who straight through the Wommies line-up just like one of Vik’s curries, ending up with 4-for-5 off 4 overs.

At the end of the “Power-Play” overs, Tokyo Wombats were stricken, like an Italian Cruise Ship, at 5 for 7 off 6 overs and the target of 108 looking further away than the coast of Tuscany.

It was time to call in the big guns, and AJ and Patmore (our sometime JCL openers) came in the unusual predicament of being already 5 down and tried to “steady the ship” and get the Wombats to that crucial psychological barrier of…..reaching double figures!! They managed to do just that and just as it seemed the 2 may be starting a partnership AJ was gone, to a miracle over the shoulder, no-look catch and deep long-on and victory seemed impossible at 6-14 at the halfway mark of the innings! Alex “Machida U-Turns” Patmore took matters into his own hands and was the lone bright spot in the innings, indeed the only batsman to reach double figures, let alone any meaningful score, with an entertaining dig of 40 odd not out. Unfortunately running out of partners, as well as overs with Kyal, Ev, and Luke coming and going quickly leaving us bowled out with a ball to spare for 77, 30 runs short in the end and well beaten by a ruthless bowling performance by Alpha.

Alex was MVP for the Wommies, with Gurman the clear winner for Alpha Q. Beers and highlights were enjoyed by all, even with “Darth Naren”, who had gone to the dark side and was playing for the opposition on this day. Well I say playing, batted number 9 and only brought on with the game already won and an over to go! Come back to the Wommies Naz!

Catches

• Genghis Palmer’s two catches at nipple-height. Did reverse hands and orthodox hands at the same time!
• Dean Dowey running in from deep extra with a low diving one. Cut his hand too.

Quotes

• Fritzl? …. Fantastic!” – Steve “Full Mong” Palmer, making us all worry for the safety of his family after this reaction to a discussion that at some stage got onto Austrian psychopath and serial killer Josef Fritzl! Obviously a fan of Genghis, tell us Steve – Whaddya think of Hitler?
• “Jamie’s like a porn star the way he catches balls” – Gav (on line) commenting on the President’s adept catching skills

Great Moments in Sport

• Kyal’s miserly opening spell. Their bat turned to me behind the stumps when it emerged Kyal was going to continue into his 4th over “I hate this guy!”
• AJ being on a hat-trick. Not the first time he’s had 2 in 2.
• Ev’s YCAC bowling redemption v Alpha. Last over v Alpha went for 30-odd, this time a 3 over spell yielding 3 wickets instead.
• Ev’s celebrations for each wicket

Golden Thong Nominations

• AJ coming out to bat in left handed gloves on Sunday
• Alpha for batting Naren 9 and promising him a bowl, only to bring him on for the last and deny us sledging practice.